But of immediate concern is something that I must clear up before it gets out of hand. Rumors are abounding and people the world over are becoming confused. It is incomprehensible to me that anything like this could happen, but lo, it has.
Therefore, I do hereby declare and certify that Rocky Balboa and I are not one and the same. We aren't even related. Consider these things. Rocky Balboa can only see in the light, but I see in the depths of the darkest night. I hear the sounds that he has never heard. I smell the thousand scents that waft through the burdened air and are never discerned by him.
Who could look at both of us and not marvel at my physique while at the next moment feeling pity for Mr. Balboa's frail body? And if we were to meet in a fight???.... What effect could his flailing fisticuffs have as I deftly wrapped my rockbear jaws of iron around the (probably tasteless) hide of some portion of his extremities and ripped it mercilessly from the bone in a portion of time that is so miniscule that it could not be measured?
Of course, I would never do such a thing nor would Rocky Balboa. Both of us are nice natured creatures. It is just that I must point out the obvious differences in our features and abilities in order that this rumor that we are one and the same be quickly dispelled. So please do pass on to your friends and neighbors this clarification. Him, Rocky Balboa. Me, Rocky Bear. You can tell them you got it straight from the source.
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